First an update on how I’m feeling. My spirits have been pretty good. And my health seems to waiver every day. I’ll wake up feeling great and then an hour later feel like garbage. Sometimes the reverse. Chronic pain in my neck, shoulders, chest. Feeling nauseated, and almost like I have the flu. The lightheadedness is still my least-favorite symptom. When it’s in full effect, I can’t work, can’t drive, can’t lay down. Still on meds to help with this, but when it’s bad it’s bad. Feeding myself good foods and resting as much as I can.
Cancer is like a slow-motion car crash...
This is something that I keep thinking about and thought I would share.
Cancer is like a slow-motion car crash. You’re driving down the highway at high speed and all of a sudden you get blindsided by a big stupid cancer truck. It’s jarring and scary as hell, but then everything begins to slow down. It slows WAY DOWN. This car crash might even take years.
As your car is spinning towards oncoming traffic you have time to look around and go, “oh crap!”. You have lots of time. Too much time. Time to look around at the people you love in the car, and wonder if they’ll be ok. Time to see every car, tree, and guardrail in front of you that you might run into. You can try to stay positive, but there is almost nothing you can do. The end result might be a banged-up car in a ditch or a total wreck.
This feeling of slow-motion really surprised me when I started this journey. Now, I just expect it. And it’s only exaggerated by the painfully slow-turning wheels of the medical system. I plan to share my fun-filled experience with insurance, hospitals, and non-care in my next post.
Time to rest.
